A few nights ago I started drawing again in a style similar to what I was doing in 2003 and 2004. This got me thinking, I will bring myself back to that stage of design and work my way back up. There have been a few things in my life since the early days I started to draw my robots that have made it difficult to continue my work. This aims to be my rebirth. My Renaissance. Like the phoenix, I will come back more powerful than I was before.
I am calling my new project Operation Fire Crotch
From this point until the end of the year I plan on finishing over 365 drawing, painting and other similar forms of art. All will need to have a real world genesis I have finished 5 such images.
I Can’t Seem to get Over You
I Hate Myself
I’m Falling Apart
I have to wonder, is there really a problem with my generation in regards to growing up and making a living out of something; that being the 20 somethings of today. Not that many of us aren’t thriving, but I see many like my self that struggling to make their place in the world and I am not sure if it’s something new that has stated to happen or has this been something that has been going on for sometime now. I just doubt tour Greatest Generation has this same issue, given they were thrusted into such a position. Or is this problem I perceive even really much a problem. Am I just making my own lack of drive out to be some dragging force on society because I suffer from it?
I ask these questions because I still find myself questioning, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Don’t get me wrong, this question has become more of a joke for myself in recent years. I do know what I want to make of my life, but because I spent so much time messing around and I am now consumed with working and wallowing in my past mistakes I find achieving my goals to be a daunting task. I am currently 25 and I have taken but baby steps towards my lofty aspirations. I have friends well into theirs carriers and I am only now finding it feasible to move out of my parents house. Please ladies, I’m only one man, get in line.
I think one answer to part of the problem I and other face is the lack of necessity. My parents are just too nice to me. They let me live here so I don’t have the “unless I make enough money to pay for rent I will be homeless” drive. And while I appreciate the kindness of my parent, I am reminded of the phrase, “If you love something, set it free.” Now this task of sending me off on my own might have been made easier if I had done what I could have done is high school; which is much better than what I actually did do. But that was just one of my many detours on the road to success.
The other issue would be an illusion of a multitude of choice for aspiring productive peoples. We all grew up thinking that we could be anything we wanted to be, and to some extent that is true, but I personally found that choice to be overwhelming and it also blinded me from the obvious choice I should have taken from the very beginning. This illusion of choice gave me ideas of my life as many different things. For instance, I like teaching people. I could be a teacher, but do I want to be a teacher in the traditional sense? Or do I want to take my greatest talents and interests and weave minor interests, like teaching, into a greater image of what I can do?
It took me a long time to finally come up with a viable idea of a carrier, maybe too long, but it can work. I just need to keep taking the next step towards my goal. Perhaps I should be doing that now instead of typing this stream of conscious blathering.